Tais-toi et sois belle (French for ‘shut up and be pretty’) was the adage that shaped my upbringing. The expectation was clear: to become a woman, one must be pleasing and appeasing. My mother, adhering to this doctrine, taught me that I must always be prepared to smile so that others would find me agreeable. How I felt, was of no consequence. My emotions were irrelevant on the 'stage' of societal acceptance. I was to be seen, but never heard. My mother visibly shuddered whenever I attempted to voice my thoughts, reinforcing the boundaries of silence imposed upon me.
This experience continues to affect me. As I travelled and worked in different countries, I realised how disturbingly common this 'handbook for girls' is, transcending cultures and geographies. It connects us, though troublingly.
In my early twenties, I was deeply impacted by my Eritrean neighbours’ young daughter’s story. Upon returning from a holiday to her parents' homeland, she had profoundly changed. Only much later did I learn she had endured Female Genital Mutilation (FGM), a practice I had been fully unaware of. This revelation created an urgency within me to address the issue. Though unsure how, I knew I had to use my art to share her story with others, particularly those who, like me, were unaware of this harsh reality.
This journey has taken decades. I immersed myself in the complexities of FGM, understanding its “why” and “how”. I engaged with organisations like Forward for Women and women globally, exploring the common threads connecting us as a global community. A couple of years ago, I began finding a way to narrate this issue critically and with dignity.
The project’s title reflects the silence forced upon women. Some of these women have been silenced twice, once by societal misconceptions about female sexuality and again by the physical trauma of FGM. For people with vaginas, orgasms commonly come from the clitoris, and generally not from penetration alone. FGM, silencing in its most severe form, involves the removal of the clitoris and parts of the external genitalia, followed by stitching together what remains.
Words are like pearls, rolling formed, developed, and cultivated over time, treasured, colourful, shiny, lustrous pearls of wisdom. Pearls, as pure and innocent symbolising the clitoris, have an imaginary value. The value of a word is what we designate for it. The clitoris, too, has an assigned value, one we must reclaim.
With Tais-toi, I seek to break the silence. Through visual storytelling, this project challenges societal reticence, illuminating unspoken struggles and sparking crucial conversations. Tais-toi et sois belle aims to give voice to those whose stories have long been silenced.
